Friday, October 31, 2003

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Yesterday I went and bought a quick lunch at McDonalds.  I wolfed down the fries and then peeled off the Monolopy game pieces and GREAT GOD ABOVE...I have the Million dollar piece!!

I called Joe and for  three pretty intense minutes, I actually thought I had hit the big time!  He talked me down, explaining the game to me.  Then I had a headache.  Note to self:  If ever, ever have money, invest in ibuprofen.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Looking forward

 We had the first frost this past week. It made me realize that the autumn is in full swing and Thanksgiving is only weeks away.  Hey, doesn't that mean Christmas is coming soon!

I look forward to Thanksgiving because its four days of great food.  I attend, at the least, three dinners! ANd also, there is the Thanksgiving Turkey Run at Keeneland which is attended by 2,000 runners.

I look forward to the first snow.  There is something so beautiful and peaceful to a large snowfall in Kentucky.  Everything comes to a halt.  Everyone is still....and it is so quiet and the beauty is just breathtaking.

I look forward to March because it is my birthday and that means a cruise!  I love cruises!  And the warmth on my skin after months of weak sun and cold mornings is much needed.

I look forward to my daughter getting married...hopfully next year.  I tell her we need a year to plan it and invite people and let them adjust their schedules.  I look forward to that.

I look forward to becoming a grandmother.  I need the sweet smell of baby skin.

I look forward to a trip to Alaska...don't know when, but I want to go.

I want to go to Ireland kiss the Blarney stone.

I look forward to replacing and finding a Nikon series F....

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Keeneland Race Course - Mi Brujo

"You want a picture?" he asked me and clicked some command to this beautiful animal in horse language and the #10 horse raised his head and looked right at me!!! And this is the result.  The woman next to me said, "You better bet that horse."  I laid 2 across and guess what?  The #10 placed at 11-1 odds! 

I decided on the spur of the moment to run into Keeneland and take some pictures early.  As I was walking into the track, I thought what a loner I actually am.  I wonder why I'm so content to run along and do the things I want to do alone.  Could it have something to do with growing up with five other siblings and never having a quiet moment to myself?  I don't know.  Today would have been so great if Joe had been with me but it could not be.


Friday, October 24, 2003

favorite places

I seem to like pictures of gargantuan proportions! They look so much better than the other choice of a small picture.  But, I guess I need to learn a little something about adjusting.

This is the Reed Valley Orchard located smack dab on the Bourbon Co., Harrison Co. borders in some of the most eastern reaches of Central KY.  I love this place.  I have the greatest job in the world that affords me the opportunity to visit these locations while I travel about.

I purchased a mixed peck of apples for apple pies!  This past summer I bought a basket of peaches that I ate and ate and ate.  Peaches and peanut butter on toast for breakfast became one of my staples.

My digital camera is becoming my most favorite toy!  And this medium to store the pictures with my journal is just too wonderful.  I have been on line reading journals all week when ever I had the chance.  There is some really terrific stuff going on out there. 

More later. 


Sunday, October 19, 2003

how the hell did i do that?

You have no idea how long it has taken me to figure out how to do this.

And I did not have the opportunity to edit this pix...and copywrite it!

But I wanted it in the journal so ya'll could see the awesome Rolling Thunder.

this may not work

test drive for adding a picture...from the healing wall...let's see what happens

Healing Wall

I visited Camp Nelson Heritage park In Jessamine County yesterday.  I try to avoid Nicholasville Rd. as much as possible, but I braved the Saturday traffic to go see the Traveling Vietnam Wall Memorial.

This is a half-scale replica of the memorial in the nations capitol.  All 58,000+ names of the veterans killed or MIA are half-scale, but the emotion and honor surrounding the county side yesterday was nothing half-scale.

I wish I could figure out how to use my digital camera so I could share the images with you all.

At approximately 130pm, the Rolling Thunder arrived. For as far as the eye could see, they came. 200 bikes at least.  Following a lead motorcyle displaying the black POW/MIA flag along side the American flag.

Black leather, gray hair, salt and pepper beards, canes, balding heads, and limps they came to pay their respects. 

At the bottom of a sloping hill  stood a man in the full Scottish kilt uniform, playing  the soft mournful sounds of a lone bag pipe  as the bikers dismounted and slowly made their way to the Wall.

I knew plenty of men who went to Nam.  I am unusually blessed that everyone I knew came home.  Yet looking at all those names on the Wall I felt like I knew them.  Knew of them, we all do.

One name jumped out at me.  Jimmie Joe Jett.  What a great name.  What a great life, a special life he could have had.  He was one of 58,229 who gave their lives that this world be a better place not only for Americans, but for everyone.

Saturday, October 18, 2003

blog humbug

After wondering yesterday why I'm doing this, I realized morning that it is really about taking one step backwards and veiwing things as a bystander.  That instead of this being a diary, it is more or a chronicle of what I want/would like the world to know about me.  And maybe thats putting parameters around my musings. I read some of the young kids journals and they are so unresticted and alive with emotion and electricity.  Its so refreshing to remember that feeling of great expectation of this life, of what was possible.

I was a happy child! Ha.  Actually, despite the fact I had my front tooth knocked out at 12, and that I went through grammer school in a class of 12 in a typical two room school house (Catholic school in small town south early 60's) with one of the most manipulative creatures ever to walk the face of the earth (wow, that deserves some serious though), I turned out unscathed to a certain degree. (more serious thought).

So, I'm not going to worry, as all us southerners obsess about, what others think.  I'm not going to worry about anyone seeing this that I know. (note to self: change names of guilty).

Its Saturday.  I have lots to do.  bye.

Friday, October 17, 2003

Just wondering

I guess I have caught journal fever.  I love to finally have a few moments to log on and check out all the journals that I have found to be interesting.  There are so many of them to choose from.  And  its so much fun to run across a true gem.

I'm not entirely sure why any of us are taking the chance of putting our lives out there for others, virtual strangers, to share.  I have been a "journalist" practically since the beginning of time.  I remember my first diary.  It was a small book, with a red velvet heart on the front cover, and a key to lock its secrets away.  When I was a little older, I read a book, "The World of Henry Orient" and from that point on, my diaries turned into "bibles".  Sometime in 1979, I burned everyone of them in the fireplace at my parents.  What I would give to have them now.

They are so personal.  And I doubt that this on line experience will ever take the place of my bibles, for my eyes only.  So, why am I attempting this?  To try and see if I have the slightest ability to write?  To give my life some sort of pathetic meaning looking for the approval of strangers? 

I've been reading a lot of the journals and finding a sort of circle exists.  The same journals are on the "journal lists" of so many.  To break away and seek out some fresh stuff....let's hope this is what the Vivian People's Choice Awards will deliver to us.  We can't look towards the daily top five anylonger.  I just hope that the "circle" will open up enough to look outside and see the rest of us.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

House on Mouse

This is the way my Tuesday has been so far....

3am I  am awakened by the sound of the mouse trap snapping shut, and the following clatter of what can only be the trap being dragged.  Also think I hear mouse sounds, but too freaked out to let that thought register too deep.

5am awake to call Joe and tell him the Mighty mouse has escaped the trap, dragging it across the floor and depositing it infront of the bedroom door as to mock us.

7am at work.

9am listening to Art (one of my co-workers at the "BottleCap") tell me this story. "My wife sent me to Sam's club last night.  Now, I don't have a card, so she called ahead and told them I needed one. I arrived and gave the note from my wife to the customer service people.  They made up a card for me, told me to step back, and took my picture.  I didn't think nothing of it, was handed my new card and stuck it in my pocket.  I got the stuff my wife wanted, and headed tothe check out line.  The cashier took my card and said, "Sir, I can't use this card." "Why not?" I asked. "Sir, it does not look like you." "Well, now everybody knows the pictures here are bad.  Mine is no different." "No, sir, I really can't use this. It does not look a thing like you." I finally took my glasses off and took the card from her. Damn if she wasn't right, the card had my name but a picture of a 60 year old woman on it!" 

12pm have lunch with my favorite customer, E. at Horse Park.  Had good german food. Asked what I planned to give him for Christmas, since he was such a good customer!

1pm rained on.

3pm help get my Dad home from the Rehab Hospital he has been in for over three weeks after suffering his stroke on Sept 12th.

5pm home to a $500 bill from the plumber who fixed the water heater last week when it decided to die.

530pm realize that I have received my first AARP magazine with Lauren Hutton on cover!She is turning 60! Hells bells.

730 see Boston beat by the evil NY Yankees.

730 again, Joe leaves for drug alcohol class

8pm mess around on computer keeping eye peeled for mouse.


Monday, October 13, 2003

why I run? I'm a masochist!

Saturday I ran in the first annual "Run for Education" held in beautiful downtown Midway!It was the most beautiful and perfect day to have a 5K.  The temp was in the low 70's, the sun shining and the sky was azure blue, the trees were radiant in their autumn fire and flash, and the course took us down a lane lined by plank fences and throughbred horses. 

I ran terrible!  I wanted so badly to break 30 minutes, but I think one needs to practice  to accomplish that.  I guess the race would have to be all downhill. 

I think I run because I like the pain and overcoming it, and passing into the "zone".  People talk about endorphin release appealing to the addictive nature in us runners.  That might be so, but there is nothing sweeter than the natural high of finishing a race with a personal best time.  There is nothing to compare with setting a goal, such as to finish a half marathon, and then do it.  I can not describe the feeling.  Somewhere beyond tears and fainting.

Running is a metaphor for life.  To tough it out, pick yourself up when you fall down, don't give in to your weakness, don't quit,  Keep going when everything and everyone tells you it can't be done. Determination, trust in yourself, and a penchant for masochism.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

The Jesuit

I attend what is known as a "Mega" church.  There are many cool things about this church, called Southland Christian, and then the flip side is  that there are also some unsatisfactory things.  But, right now, I feel like concentrating on the good things.  In particular, the "practicality" of the Christian preaching.

Being Catholic, (once a Catholic, always a Catholic no matter what, unless you are ex-communicated)  I was astonished the first time I attended services at Southland.  I could not comprehend all the singing! It went on and on and on.  My Catholic experience with singing consisted of opening and closing my mouth in the pretense of singing.  After all, my father was one of the song leaders.

Attending services for six years with Joe, I have come to understand that to sing is another way to worship and praise God. And this Southland Christain Church can really raise the roof!

The new Senior Minister has an Evangelical background.  He is not your typical bible thumper.  He is 29 years old and totally gifted and able to lead a church of over 8,000. His approach is aimed  more at the heart and soul than fear of hell and damnation.

By going to this church, I have experienced a type of spiritual awakening.  And it has been brought on by something so simple as learning how to pray from my heart and then to be still and listen for God.

It is amazing when and where He responds.

Several years ago I was going through a rough period where I had felt betrayed and was terribly hurt.  I was unable to give it up and move on.  Consequently, it was effecting different areas of my life.

One late morning, I dedcided to go to  the noon Mass at Christ the King. No reason, just wanted  to go when the idea popped into my head.

The old Jesuit came out and began the Mass with a prayer. It went something like this:

"I don't know why I feel compelled to say this, but we must all learn to forgive our enemies.  As Jesus did, we must invite them to our table.  Remember and realize that God loves us all, each and every one.  Forgivness is his most important message."

God has spoken to me many times through this Jesuit.  But, most the time, He is less obvious.


Thursday, October 9, 2003

A rose by any other name

My name is Mary Theresa.  My Mom named me in advance because it was her dream for me to become a Nun. Mary was never really truly mine.  At the Catholic High School I attended there was Mary Anne, Mary Ellen, Mary Alice, Mary Beth, Mary Jane, Mary, Mary, Mary and Mary.  You could yell "MARY" in the hallway and half the girls would turn to answer.

Why couldn't I have had my own personalized name?  Exclusive to me, giving me a different sense and significance of self.  And to others!

In my day dreams, I named myself dramatic, romantic monikers. 

I named my daughter, Bridget...Theresa. Bridget congures up images of sexy French girls even though its actually the female patron saint of Ireland.  Not to mention the name of my Great Grandmother.

I was stumped when Bridget was born, so certain she was going to be a male.  23 years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, you were not given the opportunity of knowing in advance the sex of your child. It was "PUSH, PUSH, PUSH.....its a GIRL!"  I was so surprised.  The entire last six months of carrying her, she had squirmed, kicked, and wiggled around so much I knew she was a boy. 

My Mom named Bridget. I was clueless and half heartedly came up with Nicole.  My mother blanched and said "That's not an Irish name." And so, she became Bridget after a woman born in the 1800's.

No mistake was made, for she is most certainly a Bridget.  Even the name rolls off the tongue and tickles the lips.  It can be drawn out as in, "Brrrrrriiiidggggettttt..." or short and harsh "Bidgt". I like the way there are numerous ways to spell Bridget, therefore giving her the latitude to change her mood and/or her sense of self with the spelling.

I was one of six children. My moniker has always been "The oldest", and when my sisters were born, "The oldest girl". Now as my parents age, I still am the oldest and introduced as, "My oldest daughter".  I never had a nick name like some other Mary's I knew.  No Mollie or Missy or Sissy for me...just plain, Nun-like Mary.

I love the Internet for the wonderful pleasure of naming myself and giving myself great nicknames like HighwayStar, Drama Queen and AlphaWoman.

Yet, a rose by any other name.......

Wednesday, October 8, 2003

you say it's your birthday!

Yesterday was Joe's birthday.  He turned 50.  He spent his birthday evening going to the drug-alcohol classes that once he has his day in court, will be mandatory.

It is  smart for him to think ahead and get the classes behind him before they take his drivers liscense for 45 days.  He is thinking of the burden that will fall on those of us around him.  He works nights, so I will be taking him to his work place and picking him up.  I have to work days, and most the time expected to be out by 7am.  Earlier on some days.  It will be interesting.

His first class was an eye opener for him.  I'm not sure how many in the class, but he told me stories about several of them.  One goofy young girl, who was caught driving on a suspended liscense and also was caught DUI the very first time she made the mistake of climbing behind the wheel after a few.

One other gentleman made the statement, "You find out fast who your friends are when it comes to bumming rides.  I take the bus a lot."

And so, happy birthday, Joe.

Some very good things are coming out of this. We went to his brothers house on the river for a family gathering to celebrate his special day, and he did not drink at all.  And had a good time.

I think that if he really feels he was heading down the wrong road, that he had concerns about being an alcoholic in the making, then this is a blessing rather than a curse.

He asked me if I had been surpressing my feeling regarding his drinking.  Hell, we broke up last year over it!  A diasterious (sp?) trip to Boston last summer!  That is a story worth telling later on. Sometimes you just get accustomed to the behavior that develops in someone, especially if it is gradual.  .

I'm Catholic and Irish...oh boy, quite the combination for alcohol abuse.  Yet, I have always been able to just walk away from it.  Never had a craving, per se.  Sometimes I needed one, but never planned my week-ends, evening etc. around consumption. 

Tuesday, October 7, 2003

freak flag fly

This past week end I was at my parents house cleaning the downstairs family room and living area for my Dad's return home next week.  My sister in law is quite the task master and had assigned me the walls.  I cleaned off years of fire place yuk from the panel wood and then polished them with lemon oil.  The whole effect was really nice.

Laura ( sister in law) is German, and really knows how to clean.  My Mom is the youngest of four children, the baby, and all the cleaning etc. was handeled by the eldest girl, Maura.  Needless to say, Maura left home to marry at 18.  But the damage was done.  Mom was the scholar, Maura the cleaner.

And I have inherited my mothers inability to clean...properly.  Anyway, it is sort of theraputic doing that kind of deep through removal of dirt.  I actually enjoyed it, and Laura told me how to clean the wood floors that Joe and I have in our house, circa 1940. 

We had the tv on listening to the Biography channel's hour on Sonny and Cher.  It was interesting on several levels, but the remarks about their image really made me think about that time and era.  Sonny and Cher were known as hippies.  yet, they did not drink nor take drugs.  That was okay in the mid-sixties, but as the end of that decade approached, with Woodstock etc...the army of "freaks" were born, and Sonny and Cher were passe.

Was I a hippie or a freak?  Or was I a hippie-freak? Actually, when we refered to ourselves back them, we were freaks.

I think back upon those years, the early '70's, and all the characters I met, knew, loved, was influenced by, and ultimately changed my life... I miss it and them. I miss the hair!


Wednesday, October 1, 2003

October 1

Finished the move.  Like a huge weight taken off of me.  Got the washer and dryer over to the house last night and that was it.  Now have a moment to relax, and then worry about the DUI.

I think that it is a good thing in many ways.  It is sort of like the "invisible hand" reaching down and making an adjustment. I have been trying to keep Joe's spirit up with making jokes.  I truly believe that thinking the worst will make you crazy.  How often does the worst really happen? No need to obsess and make yourself sick.

Need to find a good lawyer.  And I have been through this before...with Bridget, my daughter. Two years ago last Derby Day.  No one in their right mind drives down Interstate 64 on Derby night after drinking at 2am!  The cops are gleefully waiting for you! 

She was pulled over in our states capital.  She was zooming down 64 at a high rate of speed, as reported by the Sherrif's brother (of all the rotten luck), who she passed.  I got the best lawyer in Frankfort for these type of offences, Marvin Cole.  He represents at least half of all the offenders in the court room.  He had Bridget's postponed about four times, but the arresting State trooper never missed a court date. Rats. 

I have had numerous encounters with out justice system with Bridget.  She was a hand full for quite some time.  And I have seen the inside of three different court rooms in as many counties.  It is very entertaining in some ways.

My favorite story is in Fayette Co.  They have all the "inmates" that could not make bail appear in the court room via a tv circuit.  They are the first to go infront of the judge.

Mostly public intoxications, DUI's etc.

This one guy gets in front of the camera. "Mr.So & So, you are accused of public intoxication and resisting arrest, how do you plea?"

"I'm innocent your Honor.  Those police officers threw me up against the car in front of my woman!  Made me look like a fool in front or her.  What was I suppose to do, let them get away with it? No sir, I'm innocent."

"Well, in that case we will have to hold you over for trial", the judge responded, "Other wise, if you were guilty, I could have released you for time served."

"I'M GUILTY YOUR HONOR"  The whole court room erupted into laughing, including the judge.