I think I might have to break down and go visit the Doctor tomorrow. I think I am having an allergic reaction to the pound bag of peanuts covered with cinnamon and sugar I devoured LAST WEEK!
Whenever I go to the office, I know they take out my file and begin laughing. I can't go when I have something normal, like the flu...oh no, I'm there because I can't stand it any longer and sneak out of the house in my agony.
This past summer it was posion ivy. I was covered with it. Looked like I put it in the bathtub, filled with water, then took a masochistic soak. I even had it in my ears! "This is the worst case I have ever seen, and I have seen some doozies." He told me.
Last spring, I swear I was bit at the bottom of my spine by a spider! I could not sit, I could not drive, I could only cry. When I was able to contort myself into a position like a yoga instructor, I was able to stand with my back to the mirror and twist enough to see the area...I almost fainted! I won't describe the horror I saw. The doctor took one look and said, "Shingles"....sometimes I wonder about his schooling...it was a spider bite!
Now, my lips are the size of Massachuset. Joe thought I was taking collagen treatments behind his back. He's taken to calling me, "Melanie" in reference to big lipped Melanie Griffith. I have iced these babies, taken antihistamine capsules but for the third day in a row I have woken up to a swollen abomination.
Why can't I just have the flu?