Saturday, February 28, 2004

Wednesdays Child is Full of Woe

I have spent the past several days realizing that I have a birthday that will arrive shortly and there is nothing I can do about it.

This birthday is distressing me. This one is painful.  I want all the things that come with the aging process.  I need to become wiser and to shed the last remnants of insecurities.  I want all this to happen while I remain youthful and healthy!

I do not want to be surprised by the reflection of a middle aged woman who slightly resembles me as I pass by windows in the Mall......realizing its ME.

Thus far I have survived drugs, alcohol, a horrific car accident, single parenthood,  early menopause, completing a mini-marathon, loosing friends, tumultuous relationships, and having my only child leave the nest and the tree!

And I have so much to look forward to.  Ireland and Italy.  Grand children.  As they say, having a birthday is better than the alternative.

16 comments:

freeepeace said...

Beautiful entry Mary. I believe "you're as young as you feel." And my experience of you is youthful, energetic, deep and wise. You HAVE survived a lot in this lifetime. I believe that's just the tip of the iceberg - knowing you! Celebrate you! Celebrate the birth and life of YOU. You deserve it - always! :)

dymphna103 said...

Mary, we do grow older. But like a fine wine we age grasefully. By the way I dont always leave a commnet but I never miss a day... john

ondinemonet said...

Oh dear...(((HUGS)))) Speaking as a nearly 42 years old gal, I can say from one middle aged girl to another...we are always girls inside and women when we need to be. It's one of the perks of being our age. Think Samantha from Sex and the City...Ohhh la la. :) Be well, Love Carly :)

deabvt said...

Wonderful,Mary...Sounds like you`re almost there [like all of us]!
Vince

krobbie67 said...

Getting older is harder, in some respects. There are some things that you just have to let go of. I guess that's the hard part, knowing that some things do pass their day in the sun. But, oh how wonderful it feels to shed the insecurities of youth! But, you don't ever have to shed youthfulness. I say be the best you can at whatever age you are and enjoy the process. You are more than a survivor! You are a liver! <---Not the organ. ;-) Happy Birthday!!! :-) ---Robbie

barebytes said...

JUST SAY NO !! hahaha age is just a number that becomes an excuse. You are as young as you feel, think and act. When you see that woman in the window as you pass, say hello mom, I may be late coming home tonight, don't wait up for me. Hugs Lanny And Happy forthcoming birthday!

karensull12 said...

I think birthdays become bittersweet the older we get. I hope you remain positive and hopeful...

yakima127 said...

I was all ready to add a comment, but when I read the others, what more can I say? They all said it wonderfully! I DO know how you feel, though, and it kinda sucks! I received an "Oh, No, the big 4-0" mug on my fortieth, which I hid in the cupboard. Until I turned 41 and then 40 didn't seem so bad, anymore! Now I LOOK for it for my morning coffee! I guess this is how it goes...hang on! We are all in this game of life (and getting older) together! Jae

dakotarose2852 said...

I know exactly how you feel. I just had a birthday yesterday. Not much we can do and like you say, it sure as heck beats the alternative. I spent all of my 40's hating it. When I hit the big 5-0 (2 years ago), I was just glad to be here. It's all a state of mind. Now, I mainly prefer the state of confusion. I find it easier to cope that way! LOL
Susan

sistercdr said...

I had that surprise of looking at a reflection and not recognizing myself. It's not a good one, but it motivated me to get my life back in gear. Enjoy your life, ignore the numbers.

sonensmilinmon said...

I was at the mall today and saw my reflection, and I was thinking does my son see me getting old as quickly as I see myself getting old! I remember thinking my mom was beautiful for so many years then her last visit I thought WHEN did she age?!?!? She was still beautiful ~ just aged. I felt VERY aged this afternoon, sigh.
Smilin Mon

mlraminiak said...

I'm looking forward (NOT) to the big 5-0 in about seventeen months. Clinging to the last months of my forties by my fingernails! The only thing that softens the transition a little for me is that I have three older sisters that have gone over that hump before me! Lisa :-]

sunflowerkat321 said...

I know exactly how your feel. I've got a couple more years in my 40's and it just stuns me that I could be here already. I have ALL the insecurities that go with middle age....THAT'S obvious in my journal. We just have to commit to hanging onto our health with all we have and looking forward to every day. There's so much left to do!

slowmotionlife said...

Awww... youth is a state of mind, they say, but I also dread every coming birthday. I know I'm still young.. but I'm wise enough to know I'm not as young as I used to be and the numbers are gonna keep climbing. To do it with grace is all we can hope for. And hey... Ireland and Italy are pretty darn cool to look forward to! :P

quroboros said...

Good point in your last sentence! And hey, don't you feel smarter & wiser now than ever before in your life? ~Holly

musenla said...

I joke I once read said life would be infinitely better if we lived it backwards...i.e. we start off older and get younger as the years go by. Short of that, I guess the next best thing is to think of getting older as a gift that is denied to many. =P