Monday, February 28, 2005

ODE TO NORTHERN KENTUCKY

 

Preview

THE SUSPENSION BRIDGE (during the flood of Jan. 2005)

Poo-Poo, his youngest daughter and myself made the journey to Newport to move him back home yesterday. The furniture and household things we have been accumulating over the past three months were packed into the U-Haul. Some of the furniture we placed close to the dumpster, officially putting it up for grabs. That was a stroke of genius for the grateful recipient helped us carry the remaining stuff into the U-Haul.

It took only two hours to clean the place out. Then they headed for home while I went on one last shopping spree. The sadness I felt was unexpected. We had arrived with Winter and were leaving with the beginning of Spring. I had grown  increasingly fond of my weekends there and was looking forward to the beauty and enjoyment that the warmer weather was sure to bring. Now we were leaving.

 My first stop was Trader Joe's where I  stocked up on Two Buck Chuck, scones, pineapple salsa, pizza dough, chocolate covered bing cherries.

Then I went to the Party Source  which opens at 11am on Sunday morning. I love to walk down the aisle of beer. So tempting and mind boggling. The cave is the cold vault full of icy beer. The flavor rum selection was fabulous. The array of fancy foods divine! I will most certainly miss the Party Source.

I ended up my shopping spree with a trip to Superior Candy and Nuts. Candy sold by the pound. This was the much anticipated stop every week end for my step daughter and I to get our $2.99 bag of treats. Everything from jaw breakers to salt water taffy, caramels to sweet tarts. I purchased the ceremonial last bags for each of us. I also purchased a pound of licorice assorts! The very difficult and  hard to find delights that I love maybe a bit too much. Last time I found them was in a shop in Galway.

I have become very attached to the area. I believe it had a lot to do with it being a major metropolis. I am going to miss it very much. Especially the cheap thrills....such as...

Driving into the valley of the Ohio river rounding the big hill on I-75, you come around and the city of Cincinnati is laid out in front of you like a crown jewel. At night time, this view will take you breath away with its beauty.

There are seven bridges that span the Ohio River into Kentucky. Each one has a demonstrative name attached. The Suspension Bridge, the Mac Bridge, the Purple People Bridge. I loved to photograph them and will miss their mystic and the  dreaminess that they always opened up in me.

I'll miss the walks I took. And finding the great sources for picture taking. From Covington you  cross the "little bridge" over the Licking River and it becomes Newport, which merges into Bellevue which in turn becomes Dayton (KY). Each small ( at one time a frontier town) city attached together like jewels on a necklace.
The Levee with the Newport Aquarium and the multitude of fancy restaurants and shops. The actual levee with the wonderful Riverfront area for walking, skipping rocks into the Ohio, the Veterans park, the floating restaurants on the river, the running track. The barges. The abandoned boats on the ground wrapped in blue vinyl blankets for the winter. The ducks.

I'll miss the bars that are everywhere and I did not have enough time to visit the ones I wanted. The Southgate House will be a source of fond memories   The public radio stations especially the one out of Batavia Ohio which played the most off the wall stuff! Polka music, old Big Band Sounds, Celtic music, and old Cowboy music! The DJ's were grandma's & grandpa's sharing their record collections! Sometimes sounding as if broadcasing from their basements! I will miss that very much.

I'll miss most of all the excitement and the anticipation. It was an area where anything could happen. Of  bursting color, sounds, smells and interesting people everywhere.

It was a good three months.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

PHOTO FRIDAY: GHOSTLY

McCowens Ferry Rd.

Along the small two lane roads throughout our rural countryside you will encounter these ghostly reminders that when you least expect it something goes terribly wrong.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

NOT DRNKING CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

NEWPORT FEBRUARY 2005

I have given up alcohol for Lent. This is really going to be a big sacrifice because I love coconut rum.

Last week Poo-Poo ( he has asked me to no longer refer to him as Zorro, so now it is Poo-Poo, a story I may tell later) and I go out on the town in Newport. The attraction was Big Joe Duskin, a mainstay on the Cincinnati Blues circuit. A huge celebration for his 84th birthday was taking place at the Big Blue Fish, a restaurant on the Levee. He was the main act too!

The bar was packed ( I was late) yet we managed to find a spare chair in the back of the room, behind a row of tropical plants. I was only able to see the stage by kneeling on the chair. He was terrific. Still can rock the house! We stayed for only one set then decided to go to the Southgate House to see if Straw Boss was playing. Straw Boss is the Rockabilly band we had so much fun listening to New years Eve.

We had to cross the street. Six lanes of traffic. Frantic traffic heading towards the Ohio River one direction or the Newport Levee in the other direction . We look up towards the traffic light, which is about 20 yards away. The light is red. The cars are stopped. Engines are revving. Inching forward like predatory animals.

"We can make it " Poo-Poo yells as he begins to dart across the street.

I glance at the traffic to gage whether I should risk it when I misjudge the curb and step off into empty space. I drop like a sack of potatoes. Flop to my knees! The pavement is racing towards my face. My reflexes are swift and I was able to get my hands out in front before slamming face first into oblivion.

I was aware that I was sprawled on the ground in front of a quickly approaching wall of impatient NASCAR wannabees! Poo-Poo helped haul me to my feet. He was cognizant of the fact that one moment I was there and the next I had disappeared!. "Walk it off! Walk it off!" he instructs me as if I am a football player and helps me regain my balance.

I am really stunned and in semi-shock. I could only think I WAS ABSOLUTELY SOBER! This is too dangerous for me, an Irish colleen! I need alcohol in my system or the earth is rotating off its axis!

I'm certain those in traffic, sitting in the bus stop, and walking on the sidewalk, everyone who witnessed the spectacle thought I was intoxicated. A drunk falling in the street. How crazy is that!

Poo-Poo and I have laughed and laughed about it since. It was pretty funny.

My right wrist is slightly sprained ....jeez. But, two weeks into Lent and I still am holding strong.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

WHY I LOVE NEWPORT KENTUCKY

Preview

ACTUALLY COVINGTON!!!!!

I have been having a lot of trouble with my Homepage lately.  I have not been able to open it to add pictures and then transfer them to the Blog.  Going through FTP space is time consuming and takes up way too much time! 

Especially to load on the page.  And I have DSL! I can only imagine how frustrating it is with dial up.   So, I'm trying out new things while AOL gets things fixed...(will they ever?) I'm loading the picture on another screen name, faking out my "experimental" journal to think I am posting from Homepages...copy it...then come back over here.  Wonder if it will work?  

I took this picture in front of the Economy Meat Market in Covington.  It is right across the street from the "Boom Boom Room" (what I refer to strip clubs in general) that advertised "The most beautiful girls in Kentucky".  I thought it amusing.

The guy came outside when he noticed me taking pictures.  I have never asked someone I had not met if  I could take their picture!  But he was so cute in his white apron.  I told him I was entering a photo contest and would he mind?  Of course not!  It was so easy to ask him!    I need to ask people more often. 

A very interesting web site I found on Photo Friday that some of you all may be interested in.  Go check it out!  World Photo Day! Sounds like fun to me.

Anyway, this is just a nonsense post.  

Monday, February 21, 2005

PHOTO FRIDAY: RURAL

 

I am drawn to this beautiful mill on the Elkhorn Creek.  To arrive here you take the road less traveled till you come to a tiny one lane bridge. You will find nestled  next to the side of the road a small patch of gravel that welcomes you to pull off and admire the  beauty and serenity of the Weisenberger Mill.

I photograph it every chance I get.  Sometimes racing to the bridge knowing the mist is rising and the sun is begining to break over the eastern tree line.

It's a little bit of heaven on earth.  Tucked into the rural country side.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

MUST I ALWAYS BE ALONE

 

 

ADDICTED TO LOVE       (part XIX)

I attended my 20th High School reunion during the summer months. I discovered one amazing thing. All the women looked great, perhaps better, still appearing youthful. I recognized every one. But the guys! Holy mackerel! Guess that is one of natures little jokes. The women age at a slower pace. This could be our excessive use of anti aging products. It seems the guys just don't care. But as we near our golden years, the guys look better. (Shelley Winters....Sean Connery....?)

I knew C.K. during those four years of hell known as high school. He was definitely one of the cool kid crowd. To be a gold member of that group, you came from Christ the King Grammar School. And he did. He was a college professor in a state far, far away. Taught economics of all things! He was recovering from a break up of a long term relationship and very vulnerable.It was not that I felt sorry for him, it was that I was so lonely! He is a terrific guy, funny, smart, stable, attentive and best of all his family owned a flower business in Lexington. I was awash in roses and beautiful exotic flowers for months.

All my platonic relationships come to the same conclusion. Give it up, or bust up. The good thing about most my romances of this sort, is that the guy usually is married within six months! C.K. found a stunningly beautiful woman from Brazil teaching Spanish at the college! I attended the wedding. I should have been the maid of honor.

Loneliness is an subtle destroyer. It creeps up on you slowly and with little warning you are yearning for something that seems so unattainable and become depressed. I went to the movies with Bridget, and a couple with two children were sitting several rows ahead of us. They settled down in their seats and he causally put his arm around her.

My heart was in my throat and I was fighting back the tears. Will I ever be touched by someone I love? How long must I wait for a kiss that blows my mind? Will I ever have someone throw their arm around me and touch their head to mine? Is it my fate to never have passion in my life...to share my life again?

I remember seeing a commercial on tv about a business called Match Makers. I made an appointment and signed up! She was so enthused to have me as a client! "They will eat you alive!" she told me.

This is how it went. Every month you were sent in the mail approximately 10 "matches" which included their name and address, phone number. That was it! No rhyme or reason to it. I think she just tossed the names up in the air and where ever they fell that was it...you were matched up.

I was contacted by a guy named Butch. I met him at a restaurant in Lexington. "Meet for lunch" she had advised me, "That way it is less awkward to get away."

Butch...what can I say about my first experience! He was drop dead gorgeous. I was thinking he was worth every penny of the exorbitant amount that car salesmen turned Match Maker coerced out of me.

He was fresh off a break up, on the rebound and very distracted. There was to be no second date. At least I got a nice lunch out of the deal. The only thing we had in common was that we both picked off the red onion rings from our salads and placed them on the side of the plate.

It was a good and bad start. I told myself to stop being so superficial and shallow. He was a jerk. Albeit a handsome jerk, but a jerk all the same. A drop dead gorgeous jerk, but a jerk.

I'd wait for the next batch of mail.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

WHEN HARRY MET MARY

ADDICTED TO LOVE   (part XVIII)

Platonic relationships.

Remember the scene in the movie when Harry tells Sally there is no such thing, that the guy is always hoping, and just playing along. How many of us have been there? There is  always that shock when the gauntlet is thrown down. Or suggested that things need to change. I think Harry was  close to being right,  that it is genetically impossible for a man to accept the realities of a platonic friendship! For them,  it is an oxymoron. Yet on the other hand, it is quite possible for a woman to be very happy and content in just this scenario.

I know I was. I have had many such relationships in my spinsterhood...I mean maidenhood. I received my training as a Little Sister. My longest relationship has been with JBS. I met him while living with Cathy, he was a friend of her fiance. JBS lived in Florida and would come up for the Derby every year. I don't think I have ever met anyone I laugh with more than him. When Bridget was four years old we decided to go on a road trip to Somerset, Kentucky. We got lost. We were sitting on the side of the road, in the middle of the night, he looks at me and says, "Another fine mess you have gotten us into." I just cracked up!

Then there is Gregg. He was a childhood friend that I ran into upon returning home in the 1990's. We had numerous adventures over the years including the 1996 UK NCAA Championship happening in downtown Lexington, the 1997 UK NCAA runner-up incident in downtown Lexington, the Frankfort stories, the Kessler stories, the star gazing on the side of US 60 late one night, the Ty stories...it goes on forever. He has helped me move several times, he has held my hand several times, and he has let me cry on his shoulder many times.

The roll call is rather long and I think I might be embarrassed to actually list them all!  Each one made a difference in my life. Sometimes when life did not feel worth it, they would bring me out of the doldrums.

The truth of things is this, I have met some very wonderful guys in my life. Why I chose to fall for the moody, angry, dangerous types is the cross I had to carry for a long time.

One night I was entertaining two of my childhood pals, Gregg and Reginald. By entertaining I really mean they just dropped in and hung around watching tv because they had no where else better to be!

Reginald looks at me and says, "If Gregg won't marry you, I will!"

"These are my choices?" I asked in horror!

Gregg was offended and stomped off. "The offer stands" Reginald assured me.

Ain't love grand!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

CALCULUS AND THE THEORY OF REALITY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ADDICTED TO LOVE  (part XVII)

I immersed myself into attending night classes at the University of Louisville. I was accounting clerk by day, student by night, and mother by the seat of my pants. Every business degree required that you complete a calculus class! My first attempt at the subject resulted with me dropping the class and enrolling in an algebra class during the summer break.

I was very prepared to tackle the calculus class that fall. As a matter of fact I had surprised myself by having a knack for algebra. Who would have ever believed it? Certainly not my high school algebra teacher nor my tutor! I was a miserable student then, but somehow I had blossomed into a deductive reasoning fool.

When I entered the classroom for my second try at calculus, I was amazed to find the most attractive and a very young man was teaching the class. In other words, he was a babe!

He passed out a test to gauge our algebraic abilities. I was quick to hand mine in first and scored a 100%.   Let the games begin! ....every test he gave seemed to be composed  for me.  It became his quest to find a problem that I  would have difficulty solving. It was a great class for me. A terrific challenge. It would be an understatement to say it was an epiphany for me. 

The evening of the final exam finally arrived. I took my time completing the test, going over every question, completing both the extra credit problems. I was biding my time until everyone had handed in their papers and then I made my move.

We walked outside together and  I told him how much I enjoyed his class, and what a great teacher he was, so inspirational. He asked me if I would like to go to The Cardinal Inn for a beer. Would I?!!!!

I am not certain how long we sat and talked. I do remember conversing about my amazing mathematical gift! And what a joy I was to have as a student. Afterwards, he walked me to my car and as I turned to say goodnight he grabbed me and laid on me the most wonderful and memorable kiss that there ever was! He said, "I've wanted to do that for a long time." and then, "I'll call you."

I waited and waited and waited. I finally gave up hope. He never did. Call me. I thought my magical mathematical powers were irresistible! I was crushed.

The next semester I saw him driving on campus. Along side him in the front seat was a woman. Our eyes met. His eyes said it all. I nodded and he smiled.

And that is all I have to say about calculus.

Monday, February 14, 2005

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

                                         

 

 

ADDICTED TO LOVE   (part XVI)

I  was so homesick living in Texas. Even though I met some very nice people, had an interesting job in the hotel business, had been to Gilley's several times (had the obligatory bumper sticker to prove it), met a handsome Latino named Stephan,  I still longed for home. Why is it that Kentuckians and Texans always call their place of birth "home"?

And so I went home. I landed in Louisville because of a job opportunity. I was able to stay with my brother and his wife for several months till I was able to get my feet underneath myself. A dear friend I had met at Murray, Cathy,  lived in Louisville and graciously offered to share an apartment with me and my one year old daughter. We found a place in the Highland Area of town, right off Bardstown Rd. in one of the classic old 1920 homes that are subdivided into apartments. We had the whole second story. A balcony on the front of the house and a wooden porch on the back. Five cavernous rooms with a tiny kitchen and a small room for a nursery off my bedroom. All hardwood floors and build in bookcase. One is hard pressed to find anything other than hardwood floors in the Highlands. All in all, we lived in three different yet similar apartments around Bardstown Road in the years we roomed together.

Bridget was growing and was a handful at times. I was working full time, taking evening classes at the University of Louisville and trying to be a good mother to Bridget.

The trouble began innocently enough. Cathy, unquestionably is an attractive woman, very smart. She is witty, articulate, sarcastic,  funny, entertaining,  caustic and  great fun to be around. Men are drawn to her. Yet, Cathy has a dark side. I can see her now, bored, chewing her finger nails and holding court with her many men.

They came in droves.

When she was finished with them, they would turn their sights on me. Not everyone of them, but enough where Cathy became annoyed. Then there was Dennis. This one I was totally drawn to.  Cathy literally threw her arms in the air and gave up! Dennis was not a potential boyfriend for Cathy, but an old pal who had been playing drums on the road for  many years. He had just quit and returned home for good. He was a musician with beautiful long curly brown hair. A German Catholic from a big family!  How could it get any better!

Well, he found Jesus and cut all his hair off!  Is this the effect I now have on men?  I was stunned and the romance  began to fall apart. Then Cathy and I fell apart. She was able to purchase a home and was moving. I was about to be put out on the street. To tell the truth, I had some very hard feelings about it and left angry. 

Again, someone slipped out of my life who had been a huge part of it for OVER 14 YEARS!  She was there all during our freshman year in Murray, dancing up a storm Down South right along side me. She was witness to all the John years and there to help me put my life back together afterwards. As she was there after Mike and helped me so much with Bridget. She was there for me always and then she vanished.

Recently I have tried to find her. I want to find her especially now that I am immersed in this history, because in so many ways it's her history too.

In December Bridget and I went to the building where she worked . That office was no longer there, but we were given directions to the new location. Once we arrived, Bridget took the lead telling the security guard all about Cathy and how we were looking for her.....but to no avail. No one we questioned that day had any knowledge or memory of Cathy.

Her parents no longer live in the South End of Louisville. Her ex-fiance has had no contact with her for over a decade.

I am so ashamed looking back that I wanted a boyfriend so badly that I disregarded and underestimated the best and closest friend I ever had. You cannot replace people.  As I will never replace Cathy in this lifetime.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

ADDICTED TO LOVE    (part XV)

My car was on the blink so I took a bus downtown to the Planned Parenthood building. I knew I was pregnant, actually I feared I was pregnant. I was uninsured and marrying Mike was quite out of the question.... under the circumstances, I probably would have but he was not the marrying kind.

It was positive. It was official. I was stunned. I had feared the worst and now it was confirmed. I climbed on the bus in a fog and slid into a seat. I did not know what to think. Then the cloud lifted and I was suddenly so thrilled, so happy, so exhilarated and so full of joy! I turned to the elderly lady sitting beside me and blurted, "I just found out I am going to have a baby!"...."Well, imagine that! That's wonderful!" she replied.

Mike did not have the same reaction. He was adamant that I have an abortion. He listed his reasons. Some valid, some selfish, some mean.

I scheduled one. And then waited for the day to arrive in a funk.

The night before it was to take place, I was watching mindless TV. Little House on the prairie. The older sister had married and somehow lost her eyesight.  Her cabin caught on fire. Because of her blindness she could not find her baby. She was dragged out of the burning structure and was screaming, "MY BABY MY BABY MY BABY"........I was so torn up that even today I am crying writing this.

God talks to us in whispers and sometimes he shows up on prime time. I canceled the appointment and found the courage to tell my parents thinking it would kill them.

I told Dad first while Mom was not at home. He took it in stride. When Mom came home he told her, "Mary's going to have a baby." and mom looked at me and said, "I knew it was a matter of time." and that was that!

No death, no crying, no accusations, no guilt. Just loving acceptance.

I thought that would have been my toughest decision. But I was wrong. I went to Houston to live with an Aunt and Uncle for the duration of the pregnancy. God sent Fr. Steffes to guide me along this journey. Fr. Steffes was a priest from my grammar school in KY., the favorite priest for not only me, but everyone. He was dynamic. Just what he was doing 1200 miles  away from home in Houston for me? It was just a miracle. He helped me decide whether to give Bridget up for Adoption or the Alternative, which was to straighten out my life and accept the responsibilities of  single parenthood.

That was the hardest decision. I know I made the selfish choice. I have never loved anyone as fiercely,  unconditionally and with such careless abandon as I love my daughter Bridget.

Even though I thought she was going to kill me when I was giving birth.

Tuesday, February 8, 2005

RING MY BELL

                                                              

ADDICTED TO LOVE  (part XIV)

I returned home.

I was inconsolable, withdrawn, and cried all the time.....in the shower, brushing my teeth , driving the car, peeling an apple. I could not sleep, the pain was so over powering it denied me escape into dream land. No one ever suffered as severely as I. It transcended the heart, and made my whole being ache.

It could not continue forever. It would have killed me. I could very easily have died of a broken heart. Eventually I came out of it....a little. Enough to continue with life, even though I felt the excitement, the pleasure and sweetness of living was gone forever.

One of my childhood friends had moved home also. She and her husband were divorcing (it was a shot gun wedding) and returning with a one year old child. We rented an apartment in Lexington and tried to figure out how to support ourselves.

And we decided to become cocktail waitresses! (That is another entire "series" in itself) and life began to regain some of the luster and shine that it had lost for many months.

Then we began to go to the Disco Bars. Greenstreets, the Library and Stingle's were our main spots to shake our groove things. But the most fun, the biggest disco palace with its pink marble and brass bar, the mirrored wall, the minimal seating (all dancing) and the rolling fog....was Johnny Angels! Also the after hour club, The Circus! Desperate dancing, rolling smoke from the cigarettes, and BYOB. We danced and danced and danced. Prehaps I danced my heart back to health..

Though my heart was on the mend, I had not yet reached the understanding that I needed to forgive myself. No, the good Catholic girl had not been granted the redemption she sought, so the punishment must continue.

Bring me a man who was nice, clean cut, responsible, gainfully employed, fairly level headed and I scoffed!  Not bad enough for me. I needed danger! I needed risky, hot, formidable, deadly.

And I found him.

Out of all the wonderful, delightful men that I could have had a normal future and life  with...I chose the most aggravating  and impossible of them all.  And as life seems to have a twisted sense of humor, I still see and talk to him often.

Bridget's Dad

Sunday, February 6, 2005

The First Love Stays With You Forever

ADDICTED TO LOVE   (part XIII)

I have had a ghost visiting me all week. He has been with me everyday, every minute holding out a key for me to accept. It opens a huge wooden door that will allow me to enter into this beautiful garden. A perfumed garden of memories. Along side the fragrant flowers lies the truth.

I hesitated all week. I was comfortable living with my reality of the events, of my reality of how things were. I'm not sure if I was ready to let go of the sugar coated, butterfly and popsicle fantasies that I held close to my heart for thirty years.

I had a pile of letters he had written to me over the years we were together and circumstances dictated we be apart. I could not touch them until yesterday, and they were as revealing as I feared. I could only read two out of the many, before I had to stop.

I was an immature young girl ill prepared and unaware of what I was into, what I had. I had everything I ever wanted, everything I ever dreamed about, wished for. And I blew it.

I was self-centered, arrorgant, and inconsiderate. Not all the time...but my insecurities over rode everything. Today, a damn bulb went off over my head and  I thought...."Oh....Hell". Oh boy. God forgive me. John forgive me. Though I am certain he did a long time ago. When I met him, he had just emerged from a self inflicted "dropping out". How could I not realize....(I was really just a dummy)...about depression?

We were together almost three years. We were very, very close. And then  I did something very stupid. Being the good Catholic School Girl, I had to confess to him seeking redemption.

And that was that. He broke up with me.

I was in a Service Merchandise in Louisville one afternoon seven years after the break-up. And there he was. I had not seen him in that period of time. I remember exactly what I was wearing, a beautiful white wool dress from Neiman Marcus in Houston. I had long hair (again) but my room mate had just given me a perm (this was the big hair era of the '80's ) and it looked pretty good, except for the right side, it was kind of frizzy.

  I saw him.   He was on the other side of the store, but I knew instantly it was him. I was in line and I turned to the woman behind me, "How does my hair look?" I asked, she looked kind of startled but then told me to tuck the right side behind my ear. I approached, my heart pounding so loud that I heard it in my ears.

I just stood next to him. He turned. It was as if time stood still for those few moments just looking at each other. The we hugged

We went out into the parking lot and talked. I told him all about Bridget......that is all I remember. She was four years old.

"I love you" I said as we parted.

"I love you" he said.

When the phone book came out the next year, his number was gone.


Wednesday, February 2, 2005

WHAT A DIFFERENCE ARIZONIA MAKES

ADDICTED TO LOVE  (part XII)

24 hours later I was on I-40 heading west with John and two others. This was to be the adventure of my  life in more ways than one.

Destination: Tucson!

I had never been further west than Memphis! When I use my minds eye and remember that journey, it is the huge, endless blue sky I see. The long trip  was made in a Volkswagen Beetle, the color not really red, not really orange. I was unable to drive a standard shift, so I was exempt from any driving duties. I was content to just watch the country side  slide past me.  Watching the landscape become so different from anything I was familiar with, I could have been journeying to the moon.

As most things in life, it happened when I least expected it. I fell in love with him. I remember the moment. We were doing the tourist thing, riding horses on a desert path. While I was watching him handle his horse with such ease and authority something inside of me shifted. He looked so beautiful, so handsome. I just fell. I fell in love with someone I had known for a year!

It was incredible. The emotion was not a crush, not an infatuation. The sensation had nothing to do with longing, nor looking for someone to complete me. It was a sweeping tenderness and a free fall. As if I had taken a step off the cliffs of safety and into the glorious depths of the unknown. It was as wonderful as I dreamed it would be. When I looked at him, my heart beat faster. I was stunned, caught completely off guard, and deliriously happy.

After several weeks in Tucson, we came home to Murray and moved in together.


 

Tuesday, February 1, 2005

MAY DAY!! MAY DAY!!

ADDICTED TO LOVE  (partXI)

I returned to school in the fall. I did not return to dorm life, but rented a room on 1206 Main street,  known as "the ghetto". There were five bedrooms, and I occupied the front Florida room. The house was very old, very large, it may have been the garden room at one time. My buddy, K.K., another little sister from the frat, was to board there also......she bailed out on me. I never told my mother that I was the only girl living with four guys! And I very definitely did not tell her one of them was the Bootlegger! (He did not carry out his business from this location....Thank God).

It was a good school year for me. I did relatively well in all my subjects and had a very active social life living with the Bolio's. (the name I affectionately called all my roommates and the hundreds of people who went in and out of the house on a weekly basis).

The school year wound down and suddenly it was May. Naturally, there had to be a huge party to celebrate the conclusion of another school  year. It was held on a farm secluded deep in the country side of Calloway County where we poised no threat to civilization.

Ironically enough, I went to the party with the Redneck. (I am semi startled when rounding up all these pictures how often he appeared! Then again, he was a frat brother.)As soon as we got there, he ditched me on the spot for this bosomy siren! I was humiliated and hurt and did the best I could not to have the entire party ruined because of his indiscretion.


I found a spot on the porch, close to the keg of beer when HE found me. In spite of my apprehension and misgivings, I was very happy to see him. He had been gone a very long time. That afternoon he was my knight in shining armor helping me save face.

He was back from Arizona for a short stay. So short that they were leaving the next day to head back west.

He asked if I wanted to go along..............