Friday, March 5, 2004

The woman who gave me life (and the man...c.1975)

Yesterday was the big day...my birthday.  So it was no surprise that my Mom called me to wish me a happy birthday and to remind me she was in labor for 33 hours etc.etc.  Then she told me the latest news regarding her health.

 That afternoon, right after lunch she was sending Pop upstairs for his afternoon nap while she had plans to attend a memorial service and ....she could not get up.  The pain was excruciating across her right thigh. 

The Lord above has a way of looking out for my Mom. She was able to reach friends (retired Nuns...?) who came to her assistance and took her to the Doctor.  Diagnosis?  More than likely bursitis or tendentious.  A shot of cortisone was given and some new miracle drugs and she is much, much better. 

A while back my youngest sister (15 years my junior, the alpha and the omega) and I were having a discussion about my Mom and the noticeable changes in her (as she is in her 70's). I began to realize that my sister did not venerate my Mom like I do.  She even went so far as to say that she felt somehow cheated ......because Mom had so many interests, obligations and hobbies outside our family.  P. went so far as to say Mom was not a great role model for her.

 I was flabbergasted!  When I came of age in the 1970's and women's lib was a big thing, it was already accepted in my family.  Mom  had a career outside her family.  She has a Masters Degree in Library Science and was running the county library and the Catholic School library. She was involved in everything that was important.  Civil Rights, Children's rights, Catholic issues, poverty just to name a few.

She is my hero.  I need to thank her more than just on my Birthday.  The biggest gift she gave me after life, was the knowledge that you can do anything.  If a first generation Irish kid like herself could realize her dreams, I need  to understand she paved the way for me. And all women who came after her.

I wish my sister could see it that way. 

11 comments:

karensull12 said...

Happy belated birthday to you!!! This is a really nice piece about your mother--she sounds like a remarkably accomplished woman. I think it's interesting to see how two different people view the same woman and though it's unfortunate that your sister doesn't see her the way you to, it shouldn't stop you from singing her praises and thanking her every chance you get.

rinakatay21 said...

Happy Birthday! Hope you had a great day! And your mom sounds like she rocks! Too bad your sister can't see that...it's a shame really.

musenla said...

Belated happy birthday! It's evident that your mother is a big part of your life and rightly so, she sounds like a remarkable woman. I'm sorry your sister didn't enjoy her presence as much as you probably did, which could be the reason for her hurt feelings. We can't change the past, but we can certainly make up for it in the present. =P

mlraminiak said...

Interesting, isn't it, how siblings can have completely different views of their parents? I was the youngest, and realized that I had a completely different childhood from what my oldest sister (we were 8 years apart) had. Even so, she and I were very close. I don't think she realized it was because she was somewhat more of a mother figure to me than my mother was... Lisa :-]

mlraminiak said...

Oh, and by the way....HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARY!!!! Lisa :-]

sonensmilinmon said...

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to youuuuu! Great entry about your mom and how she effected your life. Sorry your sister has a different opinion.
Smilin Mon

krobbie67 said...

This was such a great entry Mary. Your mom sounds like such a wonderful woman. Maybe your sister just hasn't taken the opportunity to get to know your mother like you have. Sometimes relationships come down to perception. Have a great year! Happy Birthday! :-) ---Robbie

deabvt said...

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !!!! Mary,your Mom sounds terrific!
Vince

barebytes said...

Happy birthday lady, sorry I wasn't around to wish you on your special day. Moms are like that, they teach us more than what we see till we look back and see all they have done for us. Mother love is the best. Hugs Lanny

slowmotionlife said...

Little sisters sometimes idolize their big sisters more than their mothers. I practically raised my sisters, or we raised each other, so there's a stronger bond between us than there is with our mom. But we all acknowledge the sacrifices she made, the lessons she taught us -even the bad ones- and we can respect her for her strength and her independance. Isn't it funny how siblings can view their parents in different ways? Maybe you saw things in your mom that your sister didn't? :(

txsguinan said...

Yeah~ it's interesting how siblings can have a completely different take on the family dynamic. I read somewhere that every child actually grows up in a different family~ it all depends on their place in the order and their perspective. Your mother sounds like a strong and intelligent woman~ hard to see how she wouldn't be a role great model for your sister, though.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! ..... :)