Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful

Mom is in the hospital again. Sunday she called me and asked me to come over because she was feeling faint and was worried about Dad. Not herself, natch. My father has a type of dementia and he will be 85 in November, he is a trifle unsteady on his legs!

I felt it necessary to call her family physician, she was in such pain that I could not bear to stand by and just wring my hands. The Doc told me to call an ambulance and he would meet her at the emergency room. Mom lives on a very well established dead end street. I heard the ambulance heading in our direction...I knew she was going to be very angry with me, but hey, I can handle that. All the neighbors came into their front yards and watched in concerned silence. As soon as they saw it was my Mom and not Dad, they began to head towards our house. I had to announce what was going on from the front porch while my Dad stood behind me watching in his mute helplessness.

They are running tests and I believe they will let her go home today and schedule further tests as an out patient. I hope she just had a virus attack her and knock her flat.

I want to tell you all about Genie. She is a miracle woman. She has been helping my Mom care and tend for my Dad since June. To make a long story short, Omega cried to me one night several months ago, before Genie, that I had to go tell Mom to let Dad go to heaven. That he was in too much pain and he was praying for the Lord to take him and if Mom gave her permission, he would pass on. Omega is the youngest and taking Dad's decline the hardest. My thoughts are this, Dad will go to heaven when God calls him, not a moment before. And I would never never never ask that of my Mom.....Heavens!!! Yet, I understand Omega.

Then Genie came into their lives and my Dad is a new person. She has worked in health care with the elderly since she has been 16 years old. She is a country girl, kind, generous with her love, and the most wonderful companion for Dad every day. He is not ashamed when she tends to him.....She calls him Mr. Wonderful.

Mr. Wonderful can be a handful. Several years ago Mom felt faint and passed out cracking her head open. They kept her in the hospital for observation for several days. I was staying with Dad and went home to change clothes. When I went back, he was GONE!!!!!!!

SO WAS THE CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was PANICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He had found the keys, driven himself the 10 plus miles into Lexington and parked at the hospital and found her room! All by himself! He was sitting in a chair like the cat who ate the canary! He only forgot his jacket. It was the first time he had driven in years.

You can never give up on anyone. There is no limits to the human spirit.

 

14 comments:

redhdka said...

He loves her very much! I will pray for your mom!

hope5555 said...

It's so hard to see our parents age, isn't it.

svenskagrl said...

Oh Mary...I'm sorry to hear this.  We went through this with my grandparents back in the 80s.  She had Alzheimer's and he was her caretaker.  They stayed in their house as long as they could before they had to live with my parents.  She just got to be too much for him to care for on his own.  I can still remember the 2 am phone calls to my Mom to let her know Nana had fallen out of bed again.  We would all get in the car and drive the 20 min. to her house to help pick her up.

Thank God you have Genie!

my78novata said...

Yes sometimes they can be so strong and I know its hard to give up independance. But the elderly need to also take in to account our feelings. Like My grandmother goes out and mowes with her back brace on from a cracked spine in severla places and makes us all feel like we have to go into double over time to keep her yard and house up. SHe even tries to goad us into mowing the neighbros yards cause they dont mow the way she likes. !!!!!!!!!  She is killing us all her daughter my aunt told her. She is demanding and pushy. the elderly can be ahand ful. Especially wehn one in the family is enabling them. SOunds like yours are sweeter than mine. But it can be hard to tell those that ar e older what to do. Its a strange position for sure. Lori

slowmotionlife said...

I do think people sometimes linger for the sake of others.  They may not want to let go because they fear those living need them or would not forgive them for leaving them alone.  Sometimes a person needs to be told it's OK to go... but you can't force a person to give that kind of permission.  It has to come from their heart, with all the love that empowers it.  I'm so sorry to hear that your mom has been sick again.  I can imagine how difficult it is for both you and your sister.  I'm glad to hear that Genie has been such a positive influence on the situation - she sounds like she's good for your father.  And I agree - you just never know how much life a person has left in them.  Sometimes people surprise you.  ::smile::

tammy97501 said...

Hoping your mom will be fine.  Isn't it odd that when we are young, our parents take care of us, then years go by, we turn full circle and end up taking care of our parents?  God works in mysterious ways, I'll tell you that.  We've been going through something of the same with Hubby's 87 year old mother.  My heart goes out to you.

readmereadyou said...

I do hope your mom will be okay soon. I wish I still had my parents but they're gone now. Keep them close as long as you can but I don't have to really tell you that. You have a warm and loving heart

chefgracegeorge said...

Hi Mary!
Sorry to hear about your mom. I did get a kick reading about your dad, though.  You must have gotten your spunk from him.
Hope to catch up with you soon!
 

kathleenggoode said...

What a beautiful memory.  He loves his wife so much he found a way to her, how romantic.  

I hope your mother is doing better and all tests turn out fine.


belfastcowboy75 said...

I'm having some similar experiences, Mary. I know how it hurts, and how little triumphs like your Dad's Last Drive will become family legend.

mrccgoody said...

I hope your mom's out now and doing well...

It certainly sounds like Genie has been a blessing to your family. I loved hearing this story.  I'm worried about your mom, though, and I'll be praying for you.

mlraminiak said...

They can be a handful as they age!  I'm so glad you've found Genie.  It's wonderful that she has given your dad a new spark.  Lisa  :-]  PS--hope all is well with Mom...  

blondepennierae said...

What a lovely story.  My father had dementia also so I know the panic you must have felt.  He also took the car keys and disappeared, but he got lost.  A kind stranger showed him the way home.  Pennie

krobbie67 said...

I hope your mom is doing better. People like Genie are angels in my opinion. They make a world of difference. Thankfully you found her. :-) ---Robbie