Scary Octoberfest

(The picture has nothing to do with anything...I just like it!) (Sorry...something amiss with my scanner quality on this!!)

TINY TANKS STRIKES AGAIN

I have always been the designated driver. I am always the appointed chauffeur. It is assumed and taken for granted that I do the driving in this family. In Ireland when he had to assume the role, it was a major problem. Hence, the extra gray hairs, the new swear words and the kissing of the ground at the Return Car Rental Area. This entry is about Louisville Friday night.

The Octoberfest at one time was a great event in Louisville. When I lived there in the 1980's it was held in a section of Louisville known as Butchertown. An empty lot was fenced in and the vendors set up booths, a stage was built for the center piece and a tent was erected for Chicken dancing and other polka dances. Back in the '80's I could go and actually run into people I knew. But that was a long time ago before the world changed.

Now it is being held on Fourth Street downtown. It seemed like a fun place to check out, so Joe and I went down there. I expected to stay a couple of hours eating, watching Joe throw back a few beers, Chicken dancing all that great Octoberfest activities. The festival was spread out over the block between Broadway and Chestnut with the stage at the far end. The closeness that the fenced area demanded and the resulting camaraderie was missing at Fourth Street. The enchanting quality was gone. I threw back my one beer and settled in for people watching. Joe wanted to leave.

So we left.

I am the designated driver for several reasons. The most important is that Joe drinks much faster than I do. The result of that is that he has to go to the bathroom about five times as many times as I do. I think he was tiny tanks. I know every bathroom pit stop from Boston to Miami. And from Galway to Dublin in Ireland! It begins with Joe saying "You better start looking for a stop." Friday night I quipped back, "Is it an orange alert?" He replied, "It feels more like a yellow."

A minute later "IT'S RED, IT'S RED !!!!"  Hearing the frantic tone I knew it was serious.  I quickly made a right turn and pulled into a side road that runs alongside the Waterworks. I darted into the main drive way. To both sides of us was a large concrete retaining wall with huge columns at the entrance, Joe ducked behind one of them.

He must have really had to go, because he was back there for a long time.....and then the police officer pulled up next to me. I panicked.....Flashback to the 1970's......My heart was pounding and I was ineffectively trying to roll down my window, which is electronic! I could only think about the beer I had drank 15 minutes ago. My professional life was passing before my eyes. I finally wrenched open the car door and almost fell out, "Are you okay?" he asked.

All I could think of was, "Peeing in public is a crime," so I said the first thing that popped into my mind, "I pulled over to use my cell phone!", he nodded and drove through the iron gate that opened for him. Joe hops into the car, "That was a close one," he says.

It took five minutes for my heart to stop pounding. The '70's made me a crazy woman.