Monday, November 21, 2005

Risk Aversion

A Different Drummer

One of the dangers to having an on line journal is the risk you are taking when you lay it all out there. You never know who is reading. Secondly, you have absolutely no control over how people perceive what you are writing. Something written in jest is taken as serious. Tongue in cheek is taken as a position on a subject.

One of the by-products from the great exodus from AOL I see is a tremendous surge of freedom beginning to form. So many of us have been so careful not to hurt feelings, say the wrong things, and God forbid, be misunderstood. And then there was the dreaded TOS! I, for one, have held back writing about certain subjects because of my concern for offending anyone. I sweated bullets the time when I wrote about smoking pot at a Rolling Stones concert over 20 years ago!!!

For all my bravado, I still have a strong drive to be accepted and one of the crowd. Yet, most my life, I have always been on the outside fringes of the crowd! Why is this, I wonder? I'm not a leader and not much of a joiner. I am attracted to the wild and devil may care type of personality, the risk takers. The ones who attract attention. The ones who are in trouble all the time.

The ones who live life and do not waste one moment. Except maybe when they are sitting in jail (hahah).

I was a rebellious child and as I grow older I still tend to be rebellious. I realize that I am a part of this wonderful community on AOL, that is so diverse and interesting. I marvel that I have been able to fit in!!

I always like the bad boys and the incorrigible girls.

And that is all I have to say about that.  


my78novata said...

ah I am a freespirit too that seems ot be a misfit in the land of the misfit toys I always say. I have a hard time being or fitting in anywhere. I dont mind being alone and in fact I can have aparty all by myself without others. I have my husband and kids and thatis about all I need. I dont wnat to have outside friends if they limit my ability to be me. So I choose very often not to get close as I always feel (whether its them or me) that people only want to be my friend if I can follow thier idea of a friend. Itell you I have seen this far too often. I have to agree. WELL me I dont have to agree wtih people to be friends I like those who differ if they can accept me too. So talk on and be open. I thught to myself this exodus may be a cleansing of the wheat and the chaff.

my78novata said...

OH yeah of course the sad part is that when you cleanse the chaff out you sometimes loose some wheat. :<{

sunnyside46 said...

Jland is now like New Orleans
Only the wild, the crazy, the dedicated and those who have nowhere left to go are still here!
We will rebuild! LOL!

mosie1944 said...

You've reminded me of an old Waylon Jennings song:  "Ladies love outlaws like babies love stray dogs.  Ladies touch babies like a banker touches gold, And outlaws touch ladies somewhere deep down in their soul."

mtrib2 said...

I would follow a good looking eligible woman anywhere.    mark

nellemclaughlin said...

You and I are on the same page. Once in my first journal I had an entry entitled You and I Travel to the Beat of a Different Drum. LOL I try not to step on toes but I am always true to myself. I understand you so well. I will have to be moving over to BlogSpot permanently. My computer cannot handle OFFICE and the new upgrade at the same time. I am crashing and unable to use my journal without uninstalling OFFICE which I need. You know my new home and I hope to see you there. Peace baby.

xzasporated1 said...

You smoked POT?!?!?


I agree that a new start, away from the confines of "small town" to the freedom of the "big city" has been surprisingly refreshing.  Kinda like being home totally alone, without the constant supervision, lets us strip off all of our clothes and run nekkid through every room.  Not that I'm runnin' nekkid, mind you.

I let off a bunch of steam that's been boiling in me for some time, this disaster just being enough to blow the lid off my pot, and now I'm beginning to see all of this as just what I needed.

Now we'll see if that feeling lasts.

~~ jennifer

ksquester said...

It's good to be reading you again Mary. I never tire of your tales.   Anne

shellysshopper said...

When I got a TOS violation for posting a link to a non-AOL approved blog on the Journals board (the blog in question sometimes used the f word), I realized that AOL and I had different views of their TOS. I originally created the Blogger Cyber Chocolate because I wanted to put javascript and tables for quiz results in my blog and AOL didn't allow that. After a while, when I realized I was censoring myself, I made the mirror or backup Cyber Chocolate the actual blog.

I think if you want to be honest in your journaling and you can do with within TOS, that's great and AOL is a good fit. But if AOL's TOS makes you nervous enough that you start censoring yourself, maybe it's not the best fit.

Misperceptions go with the territory, on blogs and on message boards. There's no audio cues, no facial expressions to judge by. And people will always bring their own ideas to what they read. It's the nature of the beast.

-- Shelly, under a new screen name

randlprysock said...

Hope you're staying alphawoman.  I just found you and you write beautifully.  Always have something good to say.  Me too, I march to a different drum.  I've got a bit of a rebellious past myself.  

suzypwr said...

Half of the people who left went to blogs that have ads on them, lol. I am glad you decided to stay!


lisaram1955 said...

Hmm...  I just read this same thing somewhere else...   LOL!  

And my comment was something to the effect that I have never felt "UN-free" here on AOL.  I had to consign my family griping to a private journal, but, as for the rest, I pretty much let it all hang out.  But then, my "all" is pretty boring.  I am not the wild child that you are, Mary!  Lisa  :-]  

sieblonde said...

You smoked pot?!!  I'm telllin....  

I don't know what the bru-haha is all about anyway...  Journal or Blogger, people are still just a click away.  


blondepennierae said...

How much fun it is to have the 'wild child' back among us.  Pennie

freeepeace said...

It's true.  I always thought we should be using more codes for inflection.  Like "tic" for tongue-in-cheek.  Or "sarc" for sarcasm.  There are emoticons and "jk" and "lol".  But we get lazy.  Or brave.  Either way, each reader will have an individual response/reaction to everything.  We see things as we are.  Not always as they are.

You not only fit in. You stand out.

tendernoggle said...

I went from shy to rebellious then to wife and mother which quieted me down some!

indigosunmoon said...

Your entries always bring a smile
to my face Mary!
Thanks for that!

theresarrt7 said...

Freedom is good.  Moving to Blogspot has had the same effect for me.  I feel a new sense of freedom and possibility.  I'm learning more about the choices I have for creating the kind of blog I want.  But mostly I'm glad to be away from the ads.  For instance, I can write about weight issues--a very serious topic for me -- without an ad for the south beach diet flashing at me.  This is just one example of an absurdity connected with the ads.  Are you still posting at Blogspot?  Or are you staying here permanently?  BTW, have a great Thanksgiving!

thelovetrain said...

Then, why do you love, sweet me, so much? [:P]... Me wuvs you too, baby.

By the way, Mary; if you can sweat bullets, can you sweat a 'bud'? I haven't burned one for a couple of months, and I could really 'groove' on kicking back with an ear-to-ear smile. [:)]

~Smooches, Brian @---->---

PS: What TOS? Oh, I know... It's that route that leads to the, "Nevermind, it's The Love Train" file cabinet.

mtrib2 said...

My comment I left about following a 'good looking eligible woman anywhere" was in reference to a J-land person that left her journal because of the ads.   She started a UK journal without ads.  She also started another blog site.   I "followed her" and made just one entry in a new UK journal because I supported her decision.   I have seen photos of her when she was younger and she is a "knock out".   She has let me know several time about her divorce status and why she ended her marriage.   She is a fantastic photographer.    Any guess of who she is?   Just me being silly.     mark