Monday, October 8, 2007

To Make A Long Story Short

There have been a lot of ups and downs recently with my Dad. Literally, ups and downs. He has had several episodes where his legs have given out and down he goes. The week before last, he was on the ground three separate times. One found him collapsing on the way into a Wednesday night Mass. My Mother rushed in, waited until a break in the action then proclaimed, "Tom has fallen!" and half the congregation in the back jumped up and ran out to help.

The last straw was when he fell at home and blood was involved.

My Dad is a fighter. He was born premature and not expected to live. 88 years later, here he is continuing to beat the odds.

Considering the "quality of life" not only for my Dad, but for my Mom, it was decided to put in a pace maker. The doctor explained it would not necessarily prolong his life, but it would regulate the heart beat which was falling too low and causing the drop in blood pressure.

When my Dad's health took a turn for the worst four years ago a pace maker was not an option. Considering the improvements of recent medical procedures "they" decided that "out patient' surgery was all that was required to get my Dad up and running again.

It was almost the truth.

I realize that I am not the only one who has to watch their parent fade away. My Dad is a shell of the person he was. He is encased in a body that does not work any longer. He has had strokes that have robbed him of who he is. Who he was.

I sit with him as he watches television in between naps. Anything that is cowboy related, John Wayne especially, he is thoroughly absorbed. I sometimes can catch a glimpse of the person he was, sometimes he makes an observation, or an attempt at a joke. There is a tiny part of him in there.

It was reported that as he lay on the sidewalk in front of the church with his eyes closed, the EMS people finally arrived and standing over him asked if he had passed out or was unconscious.

His startling blue eyes flew open and he commanded them, "Get me the Hell up!"

Not that my Dad ever swore before, actually he never did, he always said that a man who had to resort to profanity was a man who lacked a vocabulary.

I would give anything, anything to have one day, one afternoon, one hour with my Dad the way he was. To have him rebuke me for muttering a profanity. To have him shake his finger in my face and tell me that I was a "FAMILY SURNAME"!! Tohave those moments when he would be telling a story and begin to wind it up by saying, "To make a long story short...."

To hear one more time his white washed WWII stories. To hear the endless supply of, "When I was young...." narratives. What I would give to hear about his light weight fighting career in the army, or to be told about him swimming across the river in New Hampshire, or his days as a number runner in NYC.

When ever his time does come, even though I am beginning to believe he will live to be 100, his long story will indeed be cut too short.


mutualaide said...

The decline of my parents was a difficult time in my life.  I miss them still.  I miss the stories and the laughter and the scolding.  I learned one very important lesson during that time ... to let them choose how they want to go.  And when.

sunflowerkat321 said...

I'm so sorry Mary....I know what a difficult time this is.

We lost who my dad was before we lost him.  It is heartbreaking.  I'm sure you treasure every moment you've had, and every moment you have left.

God bless you all...

mtrib2 said...

My Dad fell in the back yard and it was the beginning of his illness which eventually was luekemia though it was never referred to as that but in the terms of his blood cell count.    Of course I am not suggesting your Dad has luekemia.    My Dad made it within 2 days of being 83 and I would have been there for his death had my airplane reservations not been messed up.    Instead I made it for his funeral.   I hope I am not being an unwanted  part of the conversation by speaking about my Dad's final day's except that they are so much a part of me now.    He was not the vivacious person that I knew in his years during his illness but in conversation's over the phone that were my main contact,  he was genuinely a thoughtful and loving parent.   He wanted to make everything right in a way that was remarkable.    From a strong minded and intelligent man he became a humble and forgiving and ready to listen parent.     It brings me a sense of peace that only I know within myself.    Your story about your Dad was delightful!    A short story!   May he make it long!    mark

sunnyside46 said...

It is so sad to lose your parents. It's such a long slow process. I am there with you in that too. My once so independent, organized, tough mom is like a little girl now. I hate it,bu tI try to be part of this new relationship. I am having a hard time.
I know just where you are coming from.

st0rmwhispers said...

It is so hard to watch the people you once thought held the world in their hands fall into ill health....

My prayers are with you.

Storms Whisper and Oceans Scream:

suzypwr said...

At least you have great memories of your dad. It is very hard to be where you are right now. Hugs to you!


jmorancoyle said...

    I've been there, too. I'll say a prayer for you and your Dad.

loisontheweb said...

AH ... my Mom is 90 ... never complains ... is not quite in touch with the reality that her pain (which she never admits to) will never "get better". Cannot understand that having led an active, diet-conscious life did not guarantee freedom from deteriorating health.  Every day is so precious; my Mom is precious.