REMINISCE, REGRET AND COFFEE

MEMORY BOX :  L. AND C.F.

I started off calling this Pandora's Box. Then I realized it was not that, but a magic box full of pictures from my High School years and early college. Each picture transforms the box into a music box, the sweet melody of the memories gently nudging my day dreams.

I saw C.F. this past week. There is no other like her. There never will be a replacement for her, the space she holds in my heart. She is the closest thing I ever had to a sister after my two blood sisters. Circumstance, alcohol, bad marriage, guilt and trauma, maybe post trauma stress syndrome accompanied with death, mental illness, denial, and loosing everything has transformed my best friend into someone I do not know. I will never have C.F. back the way she was before life and alcohol beat her down and rearranged her.

The woman was wearing a camel color car coat length jacket tightly belted at the waist. Around her neck was a long knitted scarf dramatically wrapped, the ends flying like wings on either side of her. Her legs appeared skinny under the long tailored pants, balanced on spiky high heeled shoes. On her head was a jauntily angled cap. Her hands were encased in leather gloves. Extended out for balance as she confidently jay walked across Short Street. A cigarette dangled between the fingers.

I never saw her face, but I know it was her. No one crosses a street with such astyle as she. No matter the amount of alcohol and regret that ravages her, she can still stop traffic.

LONG LOST COUSIN 16,000 TIMES REMOVED

NANA circa 1914


Sometime last year my Aunt surprised me with a letter from a cousin named Hugh. I was rather shocked that I had cousins I knew nothing about. It was then I realized there was a lot about my Dad's side of the family of which I knew very little. In particular, the multitudes of relatives I have in England, Ireland, and God knows where else.

Hugh and I have been sporadically emailing each other ever since then. Anyone who has ever pried the lid off a Pandora box will understand how overwhelming it can be. Yet thrilling.

My Grandmother was a beautiful woman. I found her listed on a manifest in 1913 coming to the United States through Ellis Island. She was to join her husband, who I will call R.P., who was already living in NYC.

It is a tale of woe. R.P. was an alcoholic who abandoned his family leaving Nana  to raise three children alone. Gerald, who is pictured above, died at an early age. Nana cried and grieved for Gerald to her dying day. Nana's family helped, opening the family house in NYC for Nana to stay and have a home for her three surviving children. When her mother died, the family home was overtaken by the oldest (unmarried) brother and Nana was literally put on the street.

Bad Blood was born.  They were never mentioned before I saw the letter from Hugh looking for us! That is why finding all these cousins is such a shock.

I'm writing about this because I am excited. Today I have been contacted by yet another cousin...as she puts it LONG LOST COUSIN 16,000 TIMES REMOVED. She is English and living in Alabama!

Ain't Life Grand?

I GOT THE BLUES FOR YOU

I have just popped my second hydrocodone of the afternoon because my latest outbreak of shingles is hurting like a mother! I have it in a most uncomfortable area! (Someday I may write about my first outbreak.) Last night I felt the tingling of the beginning, "Gads, that smarts ........oh freaking nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!" The only good thing is the supply of hydrocodone, which I do not need after the first 24 hours but save for those special times when I desperately need them. Such as giving to Zorro so he will fly! Bad pun, I mean to enable him to get on a plane.

So I may be a little loopy.

I'm home alone while my sweetie is up North working. I have my Irish music on the stereo, Lunasa, at full blast. I have spent all afternoon reading the greatest book, POSTCARDS by E. Annie Proulx. I have been practically unable to put it down since I started reading it the other day. Fantastic literature. Best of all, I am on the computer to my hearts content without someone shouting at me from the living room, "What are you doing in there? Blogging AGAIN!!!!!!!" So I should be in heaven, right?

I am so over the thrill of being able to do anything I want. I miss my sweetheart and I am melancholy...especially  so being so pumped full of hydrocodone. Some of the worst parts are looking for my "lost" stuff and having no one to immediately blame. Having no one to wrestle over the remote control...(why is it that men feel they should be in charge of the remote)? No one to come home to and cook dinner for.

Thinking I lived for the weekends before....?

I had no idea.

PLAYING HOOKY

....AT LYNN'S PARADISE CAFE

CULINARY AND VISUAL DELIGHT IN LOUISVILLE

The colors are straight from the Caribbean. Pinks, yellows, soft sea blues. Two trees, possible paper mache, dominate the dining area. Reaching to the ceiling with white branches and trunk, as if winter is year round in Lynn's. Hanging from the trees are small miniature disco ball ornaments. The walls above the windows kicking out into the room are the bottom half of mannequins covered in psychedelic color 60's style pants and kooky socks. The tables in the center of the room are a hodge podge of mismatched Formica style art deco treasures found at yard sales, flea markets and Grandma's. The legs made of curved aluminum, are art in themselves. Against the wall, under the windows & dancing legs are bright booths upholstered in red vinyl. On the window sills are handfuls of mixed up Trivial Pursuit cards from the various versions for your challenge. Also a puzzle is available, one that is hand made and requires exquisite dexterity to maneuver the tiny silver ball across and over each bridge to the "win"spot. And the best of all, an army of small dinosaurs to play with and arrange.... ready to devour your meal once it arrives at the table.

Table lamps are everywhere. The type with ceramic bottoms painted with large cabbage roses, and fringed lamp shades. Everywhere you look is a magical and visual delight.

It is a treat to dine at Lynn's Paradise Cafe. I usually try to get in on those days where there is a 45 minute wait. Sometimes I'll just accept it, order a bloody Mary and wait. I was introduced to Lynn's after running my first 10K. It seemed to be the happening place afterwards as the room was filled runners wearing the T-shirts of the first leg of the Triple Crown.

I fell in love.

It was a treat to introduce Bridget and her sweetheart S. to Lynn's today.

They loved it too. (they love when I come to Louisville because we all eat well!)

 

PHOTO FRIDAY REFLECTIONS

DAMN THAT CLARK HOWARD

It is time for my entry in Photo Friday. REFLECTIONS. I have waited the appropriate three to five days  pondering how to do it! Quite frankly, all the people who participate are very accomplished with a camera.  I like to sneak mine in after the rush.

It rained all day yesterday and half of today. Finally, the sun broke out and I jubliantly went to downtown Lexington to shoot one of the tall building with the coolest gold glass! The wind was horrific! I was almost blown down. My purse caught a tremendous updraft and nearly flew away with all my stuff.

I found a very quiet and uninhabited Friendship Garden. I walked around and took numerous pictures, wondering if what I was seeing would translate to the computer. It did. The above picture is the result.

Happily, I made my way home only to become very caught up in a Clark Howard topic discussion. It seems that it is being argued before the Supreme Court the right to purchase wine and have it mailed over state lines. You can only imagine my interest, as there is this lovely winery just over the Georgia border that has the most divine Plum Wine. (throw back to my BoonesFarm drinking days.) I was hanging on his every word and suddenly I noticed the police lights coming up fast behind me! Damn it all!!!!!!!! Caught speeding.  He was very nice, since I learned my lesson the last time and did not tell him that I do it all the time .........and I ended up with a warning.

When I arrived home I had waiting for me a letter (A REAL LETTER!!) from my cousin in LA!

Now if only I would win the lottery.

CHRISTMAS STORY-ESQUE

Our first weekend in Newport! So much to do, so much to see, so many places to go! On the trip last weekend I noticed that a "Luminous Lighting & Holiday Walk" was to take place at the Newport Levee. I thought it would be a nice event to attend and take my step daughter B. while Zorro worked. We studied the local event tabloid which promised the following. "The annual City of Newport Santa parade......."

When the time approached, we bundled up and headed towards the Levee. Small white bags lined the street, weighed down with sand and anchored with white candles. We wandered all around, sneaking into the candy shop and buying a bag of carmels and chocolate covered jellies (yuck! I hate them from the box but oh I love them fresh!) and sharing a secret together from Zorro who refers to us as "Chunky Monkeys".

The candles were lit and we shared a good chuckle as one of the bags erupted into flames and burned brightly for several moments. We walked up and down the street.....confused. Where were the crowds that usually accompany a parade? Certainly we were in the right spot! The candles blazing were a dead give away.

We took a seat right on a wall in front of the Levee and waited. And waited. And waited. B. Stood up and squinted into the street that sloped upward before landing infront of us. "I see police cars!" she excitedly exclaimed! And in a few moments, so did I. They roared down the main drag and stopped the traffic in front of us. The parade must be coming!

Wait....What is that? A horse drawn carriage. Clip clop clip clop clip clop. It turned infront of us, the driver wearing a Santa hat and sitting in the seat behind him.....not even waving at the handful of people .......... its SANTA!

We followed him to the bottom of the steps where he twice said thank-you to the driver and then proceeded to give out a few candy canes to the children who were struck dumb by the climatic arrival.

B. and I hurriedly ran back to the street thinking there must be a parade following.........nothing. We hesitantly returned to Santa and waited for the lighting of the Christmas tree.

Everybody, all together now. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Hurray!!!! Oops...Nothing. Then about ten seconds later..The tree lit up!

B. turns to me and in all her nine year old innocence says, "This is the lamest thing I have ever seen."

Ho ho ho.

PHOTO FRIDAY ... LATE AS USUAL

ONE MAN'S CHRISTMAS TREE IS ANOTHER MAN'S PROSPERITY

Photo Friday challenge is PROSPERITY. I had a bit of difficulty coming up with subject matter. Prosperity means something entirely different to me depending on the context. If you are talking about prosperity in general, I immediately think of all the farm land that is being bulldozed so that larger and larger homes can be built. Ironically, they are then sold to people who love to say they live in horse country.

Today I went to buy a Christmas tree. I realized that I had found my little bit of prosperity on a tree lot. The trees were so beautifully tall and robustly full ...... with hefty price tags. Years ago when I was a single Mom with little money, Bridget and I would wait until a day or two before Christmas Eve to go buy a tree. They were so picked over by that time it was a miracle to find a nice tree. Yet we managed to do just that every year.

I know I can purchase a tree today without having to look at the price tag. I can buy it weeks before Christmas if I want. I walked among the richly scented trees and took pictures.

I decided to wait to buy the tree. I could not find the special one! I did not feel the magic just yet.

(ps...so totally playing around in Photoshop!)