Sunday, July 3, 2005

COLLECTION OF THOUGHTS

It's Junk, but it's my Junk!

It's very disconcerting that I have searched for a hour for a software program that I know I put in a safe place. It is part of my Operation Summer Projects. I have searched high and low. I am in fear I have transported it to the storage area I had to rent last week. I'll never find it in that dungeon.

I had to rent it. I have way too much stuff. I have a much smaller house to cram in all my precious things. The 300 square feet of "attic" space I had in my Kentucky home is a sweet memory.

I had a yard sale before moving here. I went through all my clothes....twice...and donated bags and bags to the big Christian church that gives it away to the needy. I still have way too many things.

I look at all the clothes that made the cut. I still have my beautiful red velvet sleeveless cocktail legnth dress, with white lace that I wore to the Sophomore Valentine dance. My first date. My mother and I found  that dress in an exclusive dress shop in Lexington called Lowenthal's. I remember the day vividly because as we were crossing the street my mother went to take my hand and I jerked away as if she had touched me with a blow torch. I'll never forget the look of hurt on her face. So I keep the dress to remind me of how much I love her, owe her, and what a Saint she is.

So, I can't get rid of that dress.

The clothes that I decided to keep all have similar stories attached to them. It is insignificant that I will never be able to wear them again. Maybe someday Bridget can open a museum with all the things I have accumulated.  Or a vintage clothes store.

For the past thirty years I have been hauling around a large green garbage bag full of unframed prints. In the late 1970's I began seeing a guy who worked at a Frame Shop. He got me involved in purchasing prints. Over the years I have built up a nice collection. I have several Coleach's, Charles Harper, Ray Harm, Paul Sawyer.

I should say "had". They got tossed by accident. (By you know who...Poo-Poo!). I never should have stored them in an unseemly garbage bag! I was stunned and felt like my heart was breaking. I cried for an hour on the way to work.

In time I'll get over it. Two good things occurred from this tragedy. First, I am having all the artwork that survived framed! The survivors are mainly the photographs that I have collected. My Unauthorized Rolling Stone Concert 1981 shots are next.

Secondly, I found out I can survive the loss of things that I thought I could not live without.

Just barely.

21 comments:

nellemclaughlin said...

I feel your pain! I went through this when I moved here three years ago this May. I went from a house that was large to this one HALF the size. I gave away tons of bags of stuff and just did that again last year in order to get what I had left organized.I had kitchen stuff that I had used once in the last twenty years! I did get rid of the clothes that I had kept for sentimental reasons. The things I refused to part with the most are my vinyl record collection (YES originals) that is about 300 strong, and my photos and albums. Last winter I put ALL photos into albums and organized them. It's a long process to get unpacked and organized. I still have ONE box of books in my garage. Other than that the stuff is unpacked and put away. I can even find MOST of it! lol Hope you like your new home. :) Nelle

my78novata said...

ah its not junk. Its beautiful memories. I hope you find what your looking for

sistercdr said...

A few years ago, when we moved back to Tennessee from Mississippi, for convenience sake, until we found a house, we stayed in the converted garage apartment at my mother-in-law's.  Everything but the stuff I knew I had to have got put in storage.  Before we found our house, the storage building burned down.  I felt like I'd lost my past and part of my family history.  It's definitely hard, but eventually I came to enjoy having less stuff.

ksquester said...

AND now I understand why his code name is POO-POO!   <<<SIGH>>>> Anne

suzypwr said...

I am glad to hear someone else has sentimental attachment to clothing. I do too! My daughter has a skirt I wore in high school. It has been back in style twice - actully, I think it probably would work this year, too.

I am a rare person with more storage space in my house than I need. If I ever remarry, I am sure that state will change, lol.

xoxo

blondepennierae said...

They're just things, or so I have been told.  BUT THINGS are what we make our memories alive with ... my heart breaks with yours.  I would have cried all the way to work too.  Hope you have a nice 4th.  Pennie

yakima127 said...

Oh, that is so terrible that your stuff got thrown out accidentally!  I hope you find that program before you go crazy looking for it!  JAE

redhdka said...

Awe Mary...I'm sorry you lost your prints. I store things in garbage bags too.

helmswondermom said...

Boy can I commisserate with you on this entry!  I've rented a storage place before, just for my junk.  And I've had some "precious" stuff accidently thrown out before, too.  And yes you can survive it, but boy it's hard to accept at first!  Hope you find your software.
Lori

lightyears2venus said...

One of my summer projects is getting ready for a yard sale next Saturday. I'm having some success at culling the collection and (yahoo) organizing what's left.   My husband is the one who often vetoes my nominations--the 1996 edition of Boy Scout Badge requirements???!!! And the nominations are not always his stuff--I do have my limits...sort of.   Will my daughter-in-law (who doesn't exist yet) get misty-eyed when I present her with my son's baby blanket?  Nooo, but I do when I remember wrapping him in it.  I, too, have cried over the loss of things--a huge asparagus fern ripped from my hear...er, stolen from our yard, a van my daughter totalled when she was 16 (once I knew she was ok).  I think our keepsakes help us understand who we are by reminding us of experiences that shaped us and showing us what we value.  They help us re-live forgotten moments (what a gift!) and see that we've had full, rich lives, that it hasn't been the blink of an eye from birth to middle-age.  They've brought me out a slump (gosh, someone wrote THAT about me?) and helped me see why I'm shy (an obituary of a great-grandmother I never knew was like reading about myself--wow).  Your comment about your mom was so touching.  It's not junk!  (P.S. I just discovered your blog and loved reading past entries.  Thx.)  

emfeasel said...

..moving is hard enough....then letting go of things/and or accidentally losing them (yes, me too) just makes it even harder....we do go on....(sigh)...even if just barely.....(heh!) I am sorry for your loss....that is a major bummer...   E

freeepeace said...

Wow - so much range of emotion here.  My heart is with you.  Hanging on to things you know you'll never use (wear) again but losing precious items you could have displayed in your new home (or have sold).  Either way, there's so much to grieve and so much to celebrate.  Definitely makes for deep, interesting journal entries.  You're a rock.

I would love to see that sophomore dress.  I'd much rather see a picture of you as a sophomore in that dress. :D  xo

ryanagi said...

Thrown away?! GROAN...no way. no way no way...ouch. I know that pain. My parents did it to me. I had all my treasured books from childhood stored in 2 boxes in their attic. They decided to have a yard sale. And since I hadn't looked at those books since I was about 17 or so, they decided it would be OK to sell them without asking me first. oh man... I still well up when I think about it. My Nancy Drew collection...all my Judy Blume books...Chronicles of Narnia...The Secret Garden...all gone. *sigh* Hugs to you.

hope5555 said...

It's so hard to downsize and get rid of stuff, especially stuff that we have carted around for 30 years.  It's like, "if I've had it this long, why would I get rid of it NOW?" Sorry to hear about the loss of your prints.

sunnyside46 said...

two houses ago, we moved when I was 9 months preggo & Tom had a broken ankle. we left an entire garage full of stuff we were going to come back for "later"
I have never once said"where is that..."
Marti

paisleyskys said...

I finally parted with shoes...shoes from the 70's on up until 1998 when we built our new home, they never made the move.
They were disgusting, all old and dusty but as you said I can't get rid of ......soon turns to I can live without.
( I think I am doing it again)
How weird is that, at least you had good ol' stuff.

Wishing you health, happiness and laughter.
TJ~
http://journals.aol.com/vaultofsecrets/MoonDancer/

lisaram1955 said...

Having moved four times in ten years, we got rid of loads of "stuff" that I just got tired of packing and unpacking.  Some of it never even GOT unpacked from one move to the next.  I came to realize that if I didn't get it out of a box in three or four years, I probably didn't need it.  But there are still a few neat old things that I haven't been able to part with...and a few I regret having junked.  Lisa  :-]  

dcmeyer420 said...

Wow! I remember Mick Jagger looking like that. I know how you feel about mementos and sentimental whatnots. I wish I did not get rid of a lot of my childhood and teenage stuff. Sometimes I see some of it in flea markets and I shell a few bucks to buy back memories associated with it... Goodtimes!  

mavarin said...

Yow!  I'd have cried, too!  People just don't understand how important our "stuff" can be to us.  - Karen

krobbie67 said...

I think it's cool that you've managed to hold onto all those things. I've moved so much and was raised by a woman who has no concept what momento or family heirloom means that I have so few precious items. But, the ones I have I cherish.
:-) ---Robbie

deabvt said...

That`s a great Stones shot!
V